Finding Your Way: A Story of Survival, Growth, and Hope

Growing up in New York City is like growing up in the center of the universe—it’s chaotic, overwhelming, and alive in ways that are both inspiring and exhausting. But for some of us, that energy is a double-edged sword. At 15, my world shifted irreversibly. When my mother passed away, I wasn’t just grieving her loss—I was thrust into a reality that required me to grow up faster than any kid should have to.

My sister, a nurse juggling full-time work and school, did her best to hold things together. We didn’t always get along—our relationship was a combination of tolerance and frustration, like two cats stuck in a shoebox. She was navigating her own impossible situation, and we both were trying to survive in the only ways we knew how. It was far from perfect, but it was something.

For anyone who’s been in a similar place, you’ll know what I mean when I say the odds felt stacked. New York City isn’t always kind to kids without a strong safety net. The streets are full of people hustling to survive, and if you’re not careful, you can easily get swept into the wrong current. I could have ended up in one of those statistics we hear about but rarely connect to—kids without guidance falling into cycles of poverty, addiction, or crime.

But I didn’t.

The Roads I Could’ve Taken

There were a lot of ways my life could have gone off the rails. Without consistent guidance, it’s easy to seek answers in the wrong places. I’ve seen it happen to friends—good people who got caught up with bad influences. New York doesn’t wait for you to figure out your path. If you’re not careful, it hands you one.

I could have dropped out of school. Statistically, children who lose a parent before 18 are more likely to struggle academically. Without support, keeping up with homework while trying to deal with grief can feel impossible.

I could have fallen into the wrong crowd. With so many distractions and dangers in a city that never sleeps, one poor decision can spiral into something much bigger. It’s no secret that environments filled with stress and scarcity can push kids into risky behaviors.

Or I could have simply given up—on ambition, on self-improvement, on believing that anything better was even possible. When life feels stacked against you, hopelessness has a way of whispering, Why bother?

Finding My Way

So, how did I manage to avoid those paths? Honestly, I don’t have a single answer. It wasn’t one big, heroic moment. It was a series of small, sometimes clumsy steps in the right direction. I think that’s true for most of us trying to make something of ourselves.

• I found inspiration in unexpected places. A teacher who noticed me when I didn’t think anyone did. A book that lit a spark in my mind. A stranger’s kindness that reminded me I wasn’t invisible.

• I sought out resources, even when I wasn’t sure how to use them. Churches became my second home because they were free, welcoming, and full of community. I leaned on community programs, church groups, and eventually friends who saw potential in me when I didn’t see it myself.

• I learned to laugh at my mistakes. Let me tell you, I’ve made a lot of them. But somewhere along the way, I realized beating myself up wouldn’t change the past. Humor became my survival tool. It’s hard to stay down for long when you can laugh at the absurdity of life.

The Odds I Faced (And Still Face)

According to reports, thousands of kids in New York City live with instability. The number of children in the foster care system, the homeless shelters, or trapped in cycles of systemic poverty is staggering. The system isn’t built to save everyone—it’s often overwhelmed, leaving many to fend for themselves.

Despite all that, there’s this quiet resilience I’ve seen in people who’ve been through what I have. It’s the same resilience I’m trying to nurture in myself. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine—it’s about acknowledging that life has knocked you down but finding a way to stand back up.

As Nelson Mandela once said, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” That’s a mantra I can respect. 

For Anyone Who’s Where I Was

If you’re reading this and find yourself in a similar situation—maybe you’ve lost someone, maybe you feel alone, or maybe you’re just tired—know that you’re not as stuck as you feel.

• Ask for help, even when it’s hard. There’s no shame in needing support. Whether it’s a teacher, a mentor, or even a friend, someone out there wants to see you succeed.

• Find small wins. Whether it’s finishing a book, showing up to work on time, or saving a little extra money, those tiny victories add up.

• Believe in the long game. You might not be where you want to be yet, but that doesn’t mean you’re not moving. Progress is rarely glamorous—it’s usually messy, slow, and imperfect.

I’m not where I want to be yet. I’ll admit that freely. But I’m not where I could have been, either. Every step forward, no matter how small, is proof that I’m capable of more. And so are you.

So, keep going. Even when it’s hard. Even when you feel like no one is watching. Because one day, you’ll look back and realize that every little effort was worth it. And you’ll thank the version of you who refused to give up.